Avatar Drabbles: Cracktastic Bits
by Kimberly T
Summary: 100-word glimpses of insanity in the Avatar 'verse!  This is what happens when the writer gets too little sleep, and too much sugar in her cereal… or is that not enough cereal in her sugar?
1. Too Much To Bear

**Avatar Drabbles: Cracktastic Bits**

By Kimberly T.

100-word glimpses of insanity in the Avatar 'verse! This is what happens when the writer gets too little sleep, and too much sugar in her cereal… or is that not enough cereal in her sugar?

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**Too Much To Bear**

Katara was a patient, tolerant young woman. Really, she was; look how many years she'd put up with washing her brother's smelly socks!

And she understood her duty. That's why she wasn't traveling the world with Aang, or enjoying steamy sex with Zuko. Once she'd gotten married, she'd said goodbye to all those possibilities and never looked back.

But there were _**Limits**_**.** Limits to what she'd put up with for the sake of her tribe's improved welfare and his kingdom's need for an heir, and her husband was _really_ pushing it!

"Kuei, dammit! Bosco is _**not**_ allowed in our bedroom!"

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	2. Earthquake Part 1

I don't do requests, okay? I just don't; there are too many plot bunnies running around in my head already, more than I'll ever have time to write. But when the writer Tasmanian Devil challenged her readers to "write me Toph/Alive!Lu Ten," well, this bunny just sprang out of nowhere and started gnawing on me:

**Earthquake: Part 1**

Nearly losing Lu Ten while besieging Ba Sing Se had caused Iroh to rethink not just his strategy, but the entire war. He needed his son alive and well more than he needed an expanded empire. So when he'd become Fire Lord, he'd declared the war over and started negotiating for peace. Peace had cost only five of the least-producing colonies, and a promise that Lu Ten would eventually marry an Earth Kingdom noblewoman, though one of his own choosing.

Now Lu Ten stood before him, beaming with his arm around a petite blind woman, saying, "Father, meet my fiancée…"


	3. Earthquake Part 2

**Earthquake: Part 2**

Toph was used to crazy fans screwing up her life. One had followed her home from an Earth Rumble years ago and exposed her to the world, to her parents' horror. Since then she'd been besieged by crazy people begging her to teach them earthbending, threatening to kill her, even proposing marriage; all were answered with a hard "No!" and harder boulders.

But the latest fan had come back after his rejection. Come back with his real name, full Fire Nation regalia, and a proffered flame-shaped headpiece…

Toph took the headpiece from Lu Ten's hand, tried it on, and _grinned_.


	4. Earthquake Part 3

**Earthquake: Part 3**

When he first met Toph, Zuko thought Lu Ten was _insane_ for wanting to marry her. Blind, barefoot, usually dirty, loud-mouthed… Okay, she cleaned up well, but what did his cousin see in her?

Two days after arriving, Toph stopped an assassin from killing Lu Ten. Three days later, she came before the throne with proof that Prince Ozai had been behind the attempt.

Ozai and his family were banished. But Fire Lord Iroh not only spared Zuko, but adopted him as a second son, at Toph's insistence that he was okay.

Zuko eventually decided to stop wondering, and be grateful.

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_A/N: There may be more in this 'Earthquake' series later. Toph and Lu Ten are in agreement that Zuko really needs to loosen up..._


	5. Enemy of My Enemy

**Enemy of My Enemy**

The old woman was a waterbender, and proposed an alliance with Jet's Freedom Fighters to rid their valley of Fire Nation troops once and for all. She could fill the reservoir with water, before they blew the dam with blasting jelly.

It was what she proposed to seal the alliance, that had everyone feeling queasy. Smellerbee asked, "Are you _sure_ about this, Jet?"

Jet had lost his wheatgrass stalk, when his ass had been grabbed earlier… but he put on a confident air anyway. "No price is too high, to ensure our victory," before he followed Hama inside the treehouse.


	6. Earthquake Part 4

**Earthquake, Part 4**

Toph's parents were merchants, so she was in the habit of calculating the price of everything:

One bottle of wine: one silver coin.

A smaller bottle of cactus juice: forty silver coins.

Lu Ten's bribe for a servant to swap out the wine in Mai and Zuko's picnic basket with the bottle of cactus-juice-laced wine: ten gold coins.

Watching the 'Too Uptight For Their Own Good' pair finally, _finally_ loosen up, so much that they have sex in the garden and fall asleep still naked by the turtle-duck pond (and Lu Ten stealing their clothes before they wake up): PRICELESS


	7. Fellow Hunters

**Fellow Hunters**

It started out as a reluctant partnership, hunting down the war criminals; those who defied the new Fire Lord and continued fighting, those hiding from justice for the atrocities committed under Ozai.

He didn't like her smelly, paralyzing beast. She hated how he just _would not shut up_.

But things changed… His boomerang saved her from an insane firebender. Her whip pulled him out of a collapsing building. And he decided the shirshui wasn't that bad.

Sharing blankets for more than warmth now, she purred, "Well, well; not such a _little_ boy after all, hm?" He grinned, and kissed her.


	8. Healing Touch

**Healing Touch**

Katara's water-healing was good for injuries, but not against illness. When Sokka got sick again, this time she had Aang head inland until they found a clinic with herb-healers.

Song invited them home for dinner, but when Katara saw Song and her mother together, it hurt so much… Song found her sniffling outside on the porch, comforted her, and told her how the Fire Nation had hurt her family too.

The scar wouldn't heal, but Song really appreciated Katara's cool caring hands. She suggested another form of healing…

Aang found them the next morning in the barn. "Hey, Katara, time-_**Katara?**_"


	9. His Reasons

**His Reasons**

When Hakoda got married again, his tribe was surprised. His children were _appalled_. And everyone asked "Why her?"

He told the more peaceable members of his tribe, "It's a symbol of peace between the nations."

He told those who still desired vengeance, "Her country owed me a new wife."

He told his children, "She asked me first."

All of which were true, or facets of truth, but only Bato was told the real reason: "She makes me feel young again."

When Ty Lee bounced out of their bed and said excitedly, "Let's go penguin-sledding today!" Hakoda just grinned and followed.


	10. Making It Work

**Making It Work**

The Avatar procured more Spirit Oasis Water, and told Katara to heal Teo's legs with it… but she couldn't make them work.

The Avatar tried energybending to give Teo airbending, but that didn't work either.

He was slumped in disappointment when Teo asked him, "Aang, what is it you _really_ want?"

Aang swallowed hard, and admitted, "For you to glide with me forever."

Teo tugged him down into his lap for a kiss. And after Aang returned it with interest, Teo whispered, "We'll figure something out."

And for the next fifty years, they glided together and made it work.


	11. The Air Nomads' Love for You

(_Okay, this time I'll accept flamers as due in the reviews_...)

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"**The Air Nomads' love for you"**

Normally Katara woke up Aang from nightmares, but she was away waterbending by moonlight, so Zuko figured he'd better do something before everyone else woke up. He shook Aang awake, then awkwardly rubbed the young monk's back while muttering "It's okay…"

But then Aang took his clothes off and rolled onto his stomach and hiked up his "Not okay!" Zuko hissed, blushing. "Clothes back on!"

"Yes, Sifu," and Aang got dressed again, looking downcast.

Why…? Zuko remembered what Aang had said once, and asked hesitantly, "Did you… used to do that with Kuzon?"

Aang's response was matter-of-fact: "No, with Gyatso."

_Author's Note: The title is a direct quote of Guru Pathik's words to Aang, while he was opening the heart chakra. There are definitely different kinds of love (with different words used by the Greeks: __agápe__, __éros__, __philía__, and __storgē are four examples__), but while the guru was talking, Aang went straight from picturing Gyatso to thinking of Katara…_


	12. Fresh Earth

**Fresh Earth**

When the Freedom Fighters broke up, Longshot suggested they go to Ba Sing Se for a fresh start, but Jet wasn't ready to quit fighting yet. He led Smellerbee and Longshot down south, to other territory still held by the Fire Nation—

And ran into another group of freedom fighters, all earthbenders and led by a father-son team, Tyro and Haru. Tyro was skeptical of Jet's group, but when Jet mentioned that he'd met the Avatar too, Haru gladly accepted them.

In time, Tyro grew to appreciate Jet's tactical abilities… and Jet grew to appreciate Haru. "Hey, Handsome… Wanna spar?"


	13. It's a Long, Long Way to Ba Sing Se

**It's a Long, Long Way to Ba Sing Se**

After the breakup with Katara, Aang didn't want to go on the blind date arranged for him with someone Zuko knew in Ba Sing Se, but he was too polite to just stand the girl up.

They met at the zoo he'd helped relocate, in front of the tigerdillos; she said she liked fierce creatures. She grinned when he told her how he liked to ride wild hog-monkeys.

Katara had never impressed by Aang's airbending tricks, but when he used airbending to juggle five balls at once, this girl laughed and applauded.

And wow, Jin was a great kisser…


	14. Big Daddy

**Big Daddy**

Four months after the war's end, Zuko came back from Ba Sing Se howling that his brain was broken, so Katara decided to investigate; she took an airship there, went straight to the Jasmine Dragon and demanded of Iroh, "What happened?"

Iroh beamed. "I've gotten married again! Sorry you weren't invited to the wedding, but we kept it very small, family members only, to avoid scandal. Although I suppose some scandal is unavoidable; the baby is due next month…"

Katara asked to meet his new bride before agreeing to be the midwife, and was immediately introduced: "Katara, this is Jin!"


	15. Breaking

_Crafted in response to the review and request from xxEchelonAtHeartxx:_

**Breaking**

After weeks of being held prisoner by the Dai Li, Longshot found himself and Smellerbee dragged in front of a Fire Nation princess. Azula focused on Longshot with a sinister smile. "I'm told you shot arrows with amazing accuracy. I like the idea of having my own Yu Yan archer."

Longshot gave her a Look.

She glared back, while gesturing at Smellerbee. "If you want your little friend there to live…"

Smellerbee shouted protests, but Longshot silenced her with another Look, then bowed to Azula.

Then he followed Azula to her bedroom, and learned how else he would serve her…


	16. Mending

_This one is sort-of the flip side to the prior drabble. And instead of a crack pairing, it's more of a crack trio…_

**Mending**

Azula's worst moment wasn't in the caverns when Zuko turned on her; when she realized she'd gambled on his need for Father's approval, and _lost_.

No, the worst moment came later, when she heard the Fire Lord's response to the ransom note: _I have no use for failures_.

Failure.

_Failure._

She shattered.

It took a long time for Azula to put herself back together… with, strangely enough, the help of two Earth Kingdom non-benders, Avatar associates.

When asked why, Smellerbee said wryly, "We're used to taking care of someone not-quite-right-in-the-head."

Longshot's Look, wry and warm, was answer enough for him.


End file.
